I’m home and settled back in after spending the last week in Arizona for the Revelation Wellness Instructor Training Retreat.
There are not enough words to express how grateful I was for this opportunity.
I know that the battle for which I was born, and the Call on my life is to help equip, teach, lead and encourage others in their pursuit of their Original Design and their freedom, so this week away teaching and supporting new Rev Instructors was a perfect fit for me. The Perfect fit.
I learned so much.
God whispered new truths to my heart about who He has designed me to be and how it all can fit together for His plans and purposes if I’ll just get out of the way.
I wanted to briefly share one of these truths with you today.
Our last night there, the leadership team’s mentor, Renee, spoke to us about the story of the poor widow who put her last two coins into the offering plate (Mark 12:41-44 and Luke 21:1-4). Together, their value was less than a penny, but it was all she had. She gave ALL that she had because she knew that God had MORE for her.
Renee talked about this story and how when we take our feeble amount and give it to the Lord, that He uses it to do abundantly MORE. She had us walk forward, to hand her a penny, and then she gave us back a dollar, symbolizing how God gives us MORE when we give Him what we have.
As each person walked forward they called out what they were asking for MORE of. The word that God had been speaking to me all week was PEACE. I needed more PEACE.
Peace in my heart, peace in my home, peace in my parenting, peace in my marriage, peace in my ministry, peace in my calling, and peace in my acceptance of my design.
The room was quiet and each person walked forward. They handed Renee their penny, accepted the dollar, and then hugged her and went to write on their new dollar bill what they were accepting MORE of.
When it was my turn, I walked forward, and instead of handing the penny to her, I dropped it on the floor. I stooped down to get it and then couldn’t decide where to put it. I fumbled awkwardly deciding what I should do with the coin while trying to still accept the dollar and her hug. Finally I just dropped the coin down onto the table and walked back to my seat.
That moment probably didn’t stand out to anyone else in that room, but God designed it to happen exactly that way so that He could get a message through to me that He has been trying to tell me for years.
Here’s the thing: when left to myself, I’m going to mess it up. Even offering up my small penny (insert here time, talents, gifts) can end up being a mess. All we were called to do was to give up our small penny to accept the larger gift of MORE. And still I dropped mine on the floor and had to fumble around for a few minutes.
God used this picture to remind me that He designed me exactly this way. I am going to drop things, blurt out things, catch on slowly at times, or just plain old mess things up. I can’t even hand in my penny the way that I’m supposed to.
Left to myself and my own devices, I’m a mess.
BUT- He designed me this way for a bigger purpose. My struggles and messes can be used for His glory. My difficulties that cause me to drop to my knees offer Him a type of praise and submission that wouldn’t happen if I never needed to fall to the ground to search for my offerings.
My being a mess encourages others to step forward more confidently. My way of getting things wrong a few times before I get them right may help remind those around me to keep pressing forward. My blowing it often keeps me reliant on Him, and it keeps others from elevating me at all…which leaves more and more room for Him to get bigger and me to stay small.
In that moment, instead of feeling any shame or doubt or regret, I felt FULLY accepted, FULLY loved, and FULLY prepared to be exactly the person that I am, messes and all. He whispered to me “I love you. I love that you’re a mess. I love that you are real. I love that you don’t need to get it right and that you just want to be with me.”
Talk about finding more PEACE!
Even though I struggle to just simply hand over my two cents to my Father, He still gives me the MORE than I need to go out and do His will. Amazing, right?
The same is true for you.
Maybe you get it right every single time and God uses that for His glory. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you’re like me and tend to just never fit the space that you’re given. To you I would say, embrace it. You’re called to MORE and your shape that doesn’t fit is exactly the vehicle that God needs to get His message out.
You were designed ON PURPOSE and FOR A PURPOSE and you trying to be or do anything else isn’t doing anyone any favors.
BE the you that He designed you to be- messes and all. Offer up your two cents and accept the MORE that He has waiting for you.
Love y’all! Will post again later this week with some pictures and a quick recap of the trip.